I am going on a trip. I’m headed somewhere I’ve always dreamed of going and I need to take some things with me. I need tools to accomplish the work I am going to do on the way.
I need a book of contacts, people I can trust to support my journey to this awesome place. A book of prayer, to be still in the quiet moments of my trip, to keep me grounded, guided and graceful. A journal, to objectively observe my surroundings and experiences along the way. A camera, to examine the macro and the micro, the God shaped signs I will stumble across. Glasses, to see clearly for myself what is ahead, head held high, confident I am on the straight path to my destination.
But…my backpack is already full. I’ve been carrying the same one for a long time and it has collected some items I’m not sure I want to take on this next trip. Guilt and heartache are in there. Shame takes up a lot of space. Worry is in the side pocket, weighing it down like a leaking water bottle, sloshing and spilling its contents when I try to set it down. A good sized Chemistry textbook of imbalance, fear, longing and pain makes it hard to close the zipper.
Be with me O Lord as I clean out my backpack. Open space in it for the things I need to go forward. Prepare my heart for the journey ahead, guide my thoughts to receive everything in your creation you have provided for me that is good and loving and blessed. Walk with me as I unload the old shame, guilt, heartache and worry. Help me unravel, unload, unburden, and release. Stand with me as I repack, taking only what I need to gracefully progress ahead.
Wow amy! Just a powerful story! I think we all carry that backpack! Thank you for sharing such a strong image in prayer!