Listen. Listen. Silence is golden. (Lisa)

Today, I look up and there you are. Wide unblinking, blue eyed skies looking down on all the world. I envision you gazing upon the swaying trees, green grass and flowers, people milling about on this gorgeous day. I imagine you looking down and thinking, “Yes! All is good with the world!”

Today, I listen and there you are. The breeze blowing leaves, cacophony of birds chirping, mowers on either side of our yard, children playing, the last remaining princess balloon, deflated, makes a scraping sound as it skips across the screen porch floor.

I am reminded of a game we used to play, actually we played it your whole life long. I called it the “listen, listen” game, remember? I wonder if you ever knew why we played it so much? You may not have been able to speak but you could hear just fine and I longed to have conversations with you Claire, to know we connected. So, there we would sit, on a blanket, in the hammock, in your little red wagon and together, we would be still and listen, listen.

“Claire, listen, listen!” Always, one sound would become prominent and I would do my best to imitate it. “SQWAUK! Did you hear that? SQWAUK!” and I would look into your blue, unblinking eyes and you would smile! BAM! Recognition! You and I were on the same page, pondering. We connected and I would name the sound “SQWAUK! That’s a bird! Birds fly! FLAP, FLAP, FLAP!.... Listen! Listen! VROOM! That’s a motorcycle! They go fast!!.... Listen! PPHHRRR! That’s an airplane! LOOK! UPUPUP!... Listen! WHHOOOO! That’s the wind!” On and on we would listen, pondering our shared interest, until one of us drifted off to sleep on blanket or hammock.

I cannot tell you how important those moments, those silent moments with you, when you spoke to me, when you said, “Yes mommy! I hear it! I hear it! I am with you!”, I cannot tell you how much those moments meant to me. Those moments were golden.

Silence is Golden.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

God was in all the many silent moments we shared. It may not have been still all around us, but we were still, weren’t we Claire? You and I were still, silent, listening, listening and we came to understand God in that holy shared moment, that smile of yours, that BAM! that same page moment. I can still play that “listen, listen” game with you Claire, no agenda, no forced thought, just be still and listen.

Wind

Birds

Children laughing

Mowers

And the

Unblinking

Blue eyed

Sky

Smiling

Prodding me to

Listen, Listen

Amen

All things being equal, a mower sounds much like a peacock’s shrill call. Beautiful. Claire McGann