Just Smell the Fritos (Falling Flat 2) (Lisa)

We didn’t realize it then but that blessed Halloween night, when our sweet three-year-old girly took her first step, she had reached the pinnacle of her development.

Claire had the progressive seizure disorder LGS, that reared its ugly head and began to steal away the gains she made. She would never attempt another step. We didn’t know that night, that thousands of tiny uncontrollable seizures would quickly rob her of the ability to even pull herself up to a stand or crawl, sit without toppling over or use her hands again in any meaningful way. Life got more challenging for Claire but Jesus kept cheering her on and so did we.

In some ways, the more Claire lost her physical abilities, the more she seemed to be at peace. Not being able to control anything, she seemed to surrender it all to God. I don’t know if that was truly the case but she was the picture of gratitude to me. She mastered being present in the moment, appreciating everything. It wasn’t that she stopped trying but she didn’t struggle to fix what could not be fixed anymore.

She reminds me just now of another hero who struggled with fixing the unfixable but, most of the time, he gave his troubles to God. It is a brave act, to be present in the joy of living when you are dying but my dad did just that in the last year of his life even as he struggled with his humanness.

A few nights before he passed away, he asked to smell the Frito chips. Seems such a trivial thing but his act of surrender, of giving it to God is seared into my heart. He was dying and he knew it. They were a favorite snack in the hands of my brother Eric who would follow Dad to heaven just a few years later. With a flick of his finger, he called out, Eric, C’mere and my brother walked across the room and held the bag up to his nose. Dad was beyond eating but I can still picture the pleasure he took in just smelling the crunchy treat.

He was letting go, in that moment, taking that brave step to the other side, not from life to death but from… I’ve got this! to… No! You’ve got this, Lord! So, I’m just gonna stop and smell the Fritos, enjoy my kids, call them by name, be with them and love them. Dad stopped trying to figure it all out by himself and saved himself instead.

Jesus tells us, leave your plow and follow me. Not an easy task in life but dad left the plowing of worldly cares and followed Him time and time again. He took that faithful step, surrendering to a God who never failed him in his life. Claire let go and took that first step, trusting, like her Poppop, that wherever God was taking her, she would be fine.

They both must have felt Jesus in their hearts. They must have heard Him cheering their tries. May they both inspire us all to find the courage it takes to face great odds, step over to the other side and surrender our worries to God.